Why is it that the thinner and more toned the women of the red carpet are, the more compelled they seem to feel to tell us that they eat like pigs and never go to the gym?
This week the gorgeous Michelle Keegan, from British soap opera Coronation Street, was the latest to tell us all how much she loves her carbs.
I can only conclude that by “carbs” she means a single spaghetti hoop … once a month.
Because, let’s face it, hers is not the figure of a carb-lover.
And then there was that photo of Britney Spears by the pool “just chilling”?
Sure, she looked amazing — in the same way that a Barbie doll does.
But if you looked closely you could see her impressive hourglass figure is sculpted by Photoshop.
How could you tell?
Well, apart from the fact that no woman on earth really has a shape like that, without surviving solely on fresh air, someone forgot to draw the side of the pool back in where it should have been in the gap that had been created under her waist.
More realistic was learning that Victoria Beckham just eats a plate of steamed spinach with a “pinch of salt” when she goes out for dinner.
That’s a bit more like it.
Like Kate Moss saying: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” at least she is honest about what it takes to achieve that kind of body.
The fact is if you want to look like a million dollars it takes hard work, dedication and discipline.
To be thin like that you’ve got to devote your days to weight-training, pilates, juicing and vegetable-steaming.
End of story.
So can celebrities please stop lying, and give us something realistic to emulate instead?
Apart from anything else, I honestly don’t understand why some women feel the need to pretend. If I was working out as hard as they are, I’d be shouting it from the rooftops, wouldn’t you?
But the thing is, I’m not. Well, I did go to the gym once — this decade — and let’s just say I’ve got better things to do with my time.
Like watching telly on the sofa while eating Easter eggs.
Because, for me, a life dedicated to thinness isn’t worth it.
Eating and drinking is central to my life — what could be nicer than sharing a slap-up meal and wine with friends and family?
I’m also often the only woman at a party who is eating the canapés and saying yes to a second glass of champagne.
Their loss is my gain, quite literally, and I’m fine with that.
You see, those of us back in the real world — surrounded by the temptations of the office biscuit table and Friday night at the pub — know all too well that it’s just not possible to have our cake and eat it.
So why some celebs feel it is a weakness to admit that their gorgeous bodies are the result of blood, sweat and tears is a mystery.
Why is it that when there is effort involved to look a certain way, it makes it less valuable? Is it because starving yourself and spending eight hours out of 24 in the gym aren’t very “ladylike”?
Having the discipline to maintain the physique of a 12-year-old does not come naturally to most of us who cannot afford a personal trainer, dietitian and chef.
And, even if you summon up all your willpower to deprive yourself for long enough to get down to your skinniest, it will only be a matter of weeks until you are back to your normal size — probably with an extra pound or two as your metabolism gets slowly pummelled by all the yoyo dieting. And that’s one of the difficult things about getting older.
When I was young I’d diet for half a week and lose 5kg.
These days, I diet for 10 weeks and lose half a kilo. I’m not alone. Just look at all the celebrities who have the misfortune to have their fluctuating weight scrutinised by the eyes of the world because they happen to be famous: Kirstie Alley, Oprah Winfrey, Kerry Katona, Claire Richards, Kate Winslet and Lady Gaga to name a few.
I was lucky enough to see Adele performing live last week. Wow, what a show.
One of the best nights I’ve had out, partly because she is so amazing, so realistic and so funny.
Oh how I laughed with recognition when she said that her bum was so big that she risked a serious injury if she twerked.
She is so warm and personable, just what a superstar should be in my opinion, even though — gasp — she is not size zero.
Sadly, women who dedicate their lives to looking more fabulous than any of us mere mortals even dream of, like Britney, are so programmed and brainwashed into finding fault with their bodies for not being “perfect” that they can’t even enjoy how good it looks.
Why else would they still feel they had to airbrush themselves to look “good enough”? All they feel is pressure, and no matter how many hours they spend in the gym, it seems as if it is never enough.
Unfortunately, these unrealistic standards have had a huge impact on the next generation of young women.
Their role models are lying to them and creating totally unattainable goals and it’s high time we started calling them on it.
In the meantime, I guess most of us have to accept we will never find out whether it’s really true that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Oh well.
Now, where are those leftover Easter eggs?